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Jokes
The Webmaster is just testing the water here.
Nothing too raunchy I guess, maybe something the captain can use at his after
dinner speech?
The
Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is
suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 minutes
left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for
Liverpool . The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and
the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about
his first day in English football.
'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0
down but I scored 5 and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'
'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot
in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten
and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having
such great time.'
The young lad is very upset, 'What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry.'
'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum, 'It's your bloody fault we moved to
Liverpool in the first place!'
Paddy
& Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the
tube & Mick came on the bus!!
Paddy
& Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'I'm gonna
have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!'
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M
A LIGHT BULB!' Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home' So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.
'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.
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